


Good Ends

by bafflinghaze



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Grey Pansy Parkinson, Hermione doesn't let her, Pansy wants to kill people she doesn't like, Secret Agent Pansy Parkinson, Shadow World Leader Hermione Granger, Supreme Mugwump Hermione Granger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 09:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16531682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bafflinghaze/pseuds/bafflinghaze
Summary: Somehow, Hermione became the Shadow World Leader, and the means weren’ttoobad. It was definitely Pansy’s influence: “Sufficiently good ends justify unsavoury means.” And Hermione had so many good ends to achieve.





	Good Ends

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been sitting on world leader Hermione for a while, and now here it is, with a dash of secret agent Pansy ;P
> 
> [[also on tumblr](http://bafflinghaze.tumblr.com/post/179795974578/good-ends)]

Hermione arched her neck back when Pansy’s hands suddenly descended upon her shoulders.

“How’s our World Dictator?” Pansy purred, rubbing into the knots across Hermione’s skin, fingers somehow going right through Hermione’s clothes.

“Supreme Mugwump of the ICW,” Hermione corrected idly. She let her eyes close. “The Canadians and the New Zealanders are fighting again over who’s nicer.”

“I could kill them all,” Pansy offered.

Hermione ignored her and continued, “And the Americans and the Russians are fighting over who’s meaner.”

“I could kill them all,” Pansy offered again.

“And the Chinese are fighting with the South Asian wixes again. And the coffee machine’s broken and admin won’t replace it until _someone_ ’s done a full report on how it broke in the first place.”

“I could kill them all,” Pansy repeated. She nudged Hermione up. “Here.”

Hermione opened her eyes. In Pansy’s hand was a to-go cup of coffee.

“For you,” Pansy said. “I left some change, _honest_.”

Hermione took the stolen coffee with barely a sigh. “Thanks, Pansy.”

“Hmm.” Pansy pushed Hermione and her chair back and sat up on Hermione’s desk, right over her papers. “How about the coffee machine company _donates_ a new machine to your office?” she mused, winking.

Hermione snorted. “If it’s a donation, then it’ll be tax exempt.”

Pansy smirked. She snapped her fingers, disappearing and reappearing in a blink of an eye. “Done.”

Down the hall, Hermione heard sudden shouts of jubilation about caffeine.

Hermione shook her head, and smiled despite herself. “What would I do without you?”

“You can’t,” Pansy replied, demeanour all self-satisfied-cat. “Are you sure I can’t kill _someone_? The Canadians, maybe?”

Hermione snorted. If it were up to Pansy, Pansy would kill anyone and everyone who may have even _thought_ to slight her, including Pansy herself, and that _would_ bring world peace except there’ll be no sentient being left to enjoy it. “No, Pansy. But if you’d just leak to the world media about the suffering of their indigenous wixes…and find something about the New Zealanders, then they might actually fix some of their problems without my intervention.”

Pansy pouted. “How about an American? Can I kill an American? I’m meaner than them.”

“And have them cry terrorist and pin it on someone innocent?” Hermione took a sip of her coffee. “No thanks. If you want to act menacing, go help some of the resistance groups in Russia. And—the water situation in America. I was planning to hit them with international sanctions, but if you could convince them beforehand, then I could focus on something else.”

Pansy groaned. “Ugh, fine. Are you sure I can’t kill one of the Chinese wixes? One of my distant cousin’s part of their Ministry, and I really don’t like them.”

Hermione smiled fondly at Pansy. “I love you Pansy, but not everything’s solved by killing everyone. If you can help me with everything else, I’ll mobilise the ICW to the South Asian region.” She stood up, placing the coffee on the desk.

Pansy leaned forward, her legs bracketing Hermione.

Hermione leaned in, her forehead against Pansy’s. “I don’t want to see you in court.”

Pansy kissed her, brief and familiar. “I’m too good.”

Hermione raised her eyebrows. “I’m better.”

Pansy tilted her head back and laughed. “For you,” she murmured.

There was a knock on the door.

In a flash, Pansy was disillusioned, and Hermione was sitting down on her chair proper. “Yes?” she called out.

A young wizard opened the door and popped his head in. “Supreme Mugwump, ma’am, your next meeting starts in five minutes.”

“Thank you, Paco, I’ll be out shortly,” Hermione said calmly.

Paco nodded and closed the door.

Pansy reappeared, rolling her eyes. “Pity.” She ushered Hermione to stand up and looked at her critically.

“These are the Supreme Mugwump robes,” Hermione said drily. She picked up her coffee and took a longer drink.

“It doesn’t scream _ultimate_ _supreme_ _world leader_ enough,” Pansy muttered. She waved her wand, and Hermione was suddenly decked out in opulent red and gold robes that trailed behind her.

Hermione raised her own wand and returned her robes back to normal.

Pansy pouted. “Oh, come _on_.”

Hermione shook her head, but she smiled nonetheless. “It wouldn’t do for the masses to know, Pansy.” She drained the rest of her coffee and vanished the cup. “Action time. Be back for the press conference afterwards, alright? I need you in the guard uniform.”

Pansy saluted her. “Yes, ma’am world leader!” She disapparated through the Wards, as she was wont to do.

Hermione swept up the papers she needed and headed out. Seamlessly, Paco opened and closed the door for her, then falling in line behind her. On the walk to the large conference room, Hermione smiled genially at the wizarding press; a line of spells kept the press from entering the main galley.

The room was already filled with delegates from around the world, and Hermione headed straight for the tall podium seat at the center of the stage. When Hermione sat down, the room quietened, and so Hermione begun her next (open and public) step to achieving world peace.

  



End file.
